Ultimately, every breath is a small sigh that disturbs the air. My presence sets off nerves like tripwires under the ether. The transference holds all the grace of a hurdler without legs. Yet, even if it means razing the delicate, time-honored structures of the permanent residents, it still feels like a well justified exercise in futility. These questions of purity and this discrimination of nature drag like old habits. The last reservation of our pride preserves it's trash and calls it giftwrap. Shame is only the ghost of one's own promises tapping on the mirror in a familiar code. The threat of love begging is what gets us up. We never want it to come to that. Eloquence is a riddle about the mundane, dropping inconspicuous hints like rose petal candy wrappers. Losing virginity is never worth it, but faith does grow hoarse. We eventually want to send the flares, shoot the works like peacocks excusing their own vulnerability, embarrassed over our misbehaving children... We want to share the fruit that springs from the secret gardens of our minds, without making up for our own misrepresentation. I write these words for us, placing bets on my intuition in a race without a finish line.
The line that I "like" most from this riddling collection is the one closest to the center,
ReplyDelete"Shame is only the ghost of one's own promises tapping on the mirror in a familiar code."
I - reducing complex statements to their most rudimentary and palatable form - am considering what it was like as a child to feel shame, both its cause and its interior emotional curvatures. I know the look of shame (both in my own mirror and that special look when a child has conflicting emotions spreading across his or her face because they have let me and/or my expectations down. Parenting teaches us much - not necessarily more than we teach our children, but rather what we lack as engines of empathy and compassion, the "things we cannot change.")
*I saved this page in a separate tab just so I could come home and give some sort of response. Consider this as encouragement : )
Thank you.